Cleaned out my closet!

Well I know I stepped away from my blog for a minute but at least I came back before the end of the year! :-)

Anyhow, my current weight is 209 which is much progress because between May and two weeks ago my highest weight was actually 217!!! So yayayayayay me!!!

Anyhow, I cleaned out my closet of all my old clothes and my incentive to keep it moving with this weight loss is to go on a shopping spree for an all new wardrobe!!! I so cant wait!

Its been so longgggggg!!!!

I'm fat... fell off the wagon.

Will get back on tomorrow... must work out!

I ate pretty well today... I think Im just gonna take it one day at a time!

Where do I begin?

I hope that I don't end up being single for the rest of my life. I went to the bookstore and in this gigantic store it seemed that all the books in the store - in every section mind you - had to do with finding a man, keeping one, getting to know God while you're waiting for one, how to cook for one... and don't get me started on what these books say!! "Men like the smell of vanilla, men like nails that are manicured but natural, men like boobs and accentuate yours, men like godly women who can tear it down in the bed... ALL KINDS OF RIDICULOUS CRAZINESS IS IN THESE BOOKS!!!

Hmmm maybe men dont like women who read this non-sense??!! I swear I went to an all new low because I bought that Steve Harvey book. As soon as I bought it I started judging myself. I was almost ashamed to buy it... I brought it to the counter faced down! I felt like a big red "desperate woman" sign was gonna start flashing as soon as the cashier turned it over! "Look guys!! Its another woman that cant get a man!!" (followed by lots of laughing and pointing). I was seriously nervous... I hurried up and put my card in that machine, took my bag, held it close to my chest and ran out of there so fast.

In the car, all the men I've ever been with in any way flashed through my mind and all the things that happened to end those relationships soon followed. I asked myself was there anything that I could have done differently to get to a better place with them? If I would not have said this or if I wouldnt have done that or if I would have ignored this, if I dressed like this or wore my hair like that etc. This was all soon followed by Would I want to be in a better place with them? HELL NO!

All I want is for somebody to love me. On a nice rainy Saturday, we can sit around and catch up on our favorite tv shows together. Share our day's problems with each other cuz at the end of the day he knows that he has me and I have him. "Someone to kisssss, someone to misssss when you're away!! To be loveeeeeedddd!!! Tooo be lovvveeedddd!!! OHHHHHHH!! What a feeling!! To be loveeeeddd!!" lol "yes yes f u too!!" Ahhh I love that movie.

But with that being said, I cant settle for any man either. I need a man that can understand that I have a hectic life and I need space more often than not... and that means that I need to have a few days out of the week to do my own thing. We'll see how that turns out lol. So far, its not goin 2 good. So after that horrible experience purchasing that book, I enter into my late twenties fighting yet another insecurity that has come to light... *sigh*

I'm is sick..

My head feels like its about to explode!!

I came home from work and instantly fell asleep.. now its 2 in the morning and I'm miserably awake and I cant get back to sleep.. its a wonder how many of my friends are up at this ungodly hour... I guess I shouldn't complain because my poor friend Jason is up driving all over the country making deliveries.

With all my suffering, I haven't put much thought into the Lenten season. I am Catholic so I need to begin my fast like ASAP. But instead of giving up things that wont necessarily change much about my life or my contribution to society according to God's will, I am thinking about adding something in to my life.

Me and my boss were joking about me coming in to work on time every day for Lent or going to work out one morning for Lent but I need to be doing something that's going to help me grow closer to God. So, I am going to devote a portion of my lunch time to quiet prayer and reflection as I seek out God's guidance and direction in my life so that He may be able to have every opportunity to use me as He sees fit. My heart and mind needs to stay tuned to him... this would be a good way to cut out or deflect any distractions that might come my way!

Well, this post turned out to be pretty productive. My weight loss on the other hand has not been. Over the course of Mardi Gras, I gained 2.6 lbs so I have some serious catch up to do if I'm going to stick to my goals... All is not lost though. I am going to be having a very healthy omelet for breakfast and for lunch, a salad and sandwich. I am going to ease back into planning my meals so that I am not taking in more than 1400 calories (my diet planner said 1600 but I really think thats too much). And then whenever I get over these horrible sneezing bouts, I'll get back in the gym and sweat off my frustrations (which I definitely have some major ones now lol).

I just called to wish you a Happy Valentienes Day...

For the first time in I dunno, like almost 10 years, somebody - other than my mom - thought about me on Valentines day. The funny thing is, he didn't give me a gift... I'm just happy that he called to wish me a happy V Day. It's so sad! I know, but hey, it is what it is... lol

One day, I'm gonna have a nice stable relationship where we can treat every day like Valentines day. Hopefully, its not in my dreams lol... Anyhow, until then, I'll just keep working out and trying to reach my other goals... we'll see what happens in 2009. I keep u posted!

At any rate, I hope everybody enjoys their day today and spread some love to those folks who might not be expecting anything today.

A Rainbow in My Cloud!

I want to go out tonight... but I am so0o0o0o tired. Tonight I got to see Maya Angelou speak. I didnt realize that she is 80 years old! She is an amazing woman. And very funny! She had us cracking up laughing. She sat up on the stage and told us all kinds of stories from her life. Her main theme was about being a rainbow in somebody's cloud. She said that she had an uncle who was crippled and he did not like to travel much because he was ashamed of his disability so he stayed in his small town in Arkansas. He taught her her multiplication tables by holding her by her neck over the pot belly stove.

Years later, her uncle passed away and she went to settle his estate and she met a man in Little Rock who wanted to meet her. This man told her that whatever she wanted to help her settle her estate (including a Lawyer) he could arrange for it to happen. He said that he knew her uncle because he grew up in that small town and her uncle gave him a job in his store and paid him 10 cents a day and that kept him off the streets. He also mentioned that Willie had even taught him his multiplication tables too. He credited his entire life's successes to what Uncle Willie had done in his life as a child. He was the mayor of Little Rock Arkansas and one of the first black mayors in the country at the time.

Little did Uncle Willie know who that child would grow up to be... little did he realize that by touching that child's life, he was touching many many more lives. Uncle Willie had been a rainbow in his cloud. So, with that being said, I've been thinking of all the rainbows in my cloud. My friends, my family, mentors, teachers... All the people who believed in me even when I had no clue. Its so many people who I'm sure dont realize they touched my life.. I am extremely blessed, and I thank God for that. Thank you Lord for the beautiful rainbow you created with all the different colors who represent the most important people in my life. I pray that I can be a rainbow in someone else's cloud. That's what we should all strive for... so I leave you today to ponder about your rainbow.. And even more importantly, how can you be a rainbow in someone else's cloud?

Good News Today!!

So last week I got a call from my doctor saying I needed to come in and get a biopsy done on my cervix because I had an abnormal pap. My appointment was today :-(. It was awful but I would rather her catch whatever this is early than to be a few years down the line with some sort of cancer. She did my blood work and everything else was fine. WHEW!! I always get so worried about having some rare illness that 1 in 1trillion people get. Well, I am perfectly fine except for the pap situation which is extremely good news.

Well a part of the routine is to check blood pressure and weight before I get seen by the doctor and guess what!! I LOST 5 LBS!!!!!!!!!! So since my last visit (about 3 weeks ago) I had gone from 212 to 207. I am so0o0o0o excited about that! This is some serious motivation to keep going to where I'm trying to go... All I have is like 37lbs more to go!! So, if I work out 3 times a week and continue to eat relatively healthy, I should definitely see a 1 to 2 lb weight loss every week. That means by June or July I would be pretty close to my goal. WHICH IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER AND I CANT WAIT TO BE SKINNY AGAIN!!!

I think I finally found my balance with diet and exercise. That feeling is so liberating. Anyway, I am also excited because I want to start a business. I want to get involved in social entrepreneurship. I want to own a restaurant and have the restaurant fund a community resource center. There will be many more blogs to do with that!

OMG Im a Pig!

I just went to Acme Oyster House and ate onion rings, meat pies, chicken wings, and chargrilled oysters!! Then went home and had ice cream and fudge brownies. The ONLY thing that saved me is that I had a friend with me and I asked him to eat most of it for me lol. I had little bites of everything. It was SO good though!

So, about this friend... I'm sure you want to know more, right? Well hes really nice... lets call him Bernard :-). So, Bernard is really cool... turns out he went to school with me but unfortunately, I never met him until recently because we have a lot of mutual friends. Well, of course he has that male disease that 20-somethings have where he doesnt want a girlfriend. One day, I'm gonna meet a dude that will want one lol. Anyhow, Bernard is so0o0o0o0o funny... I laughed the entire time we were in that restaurant! I really needed that because I was kinda sad about some news I got (stay tuned for that blog... coming out next week). But it was good to get out from under my work, and off this detox. I was tired of going to the bathroom all the time lol. But, back to Bernard. I dont know what made him take the time off to hang out with me but I'm glad he did... its good to have the company of new friends who dont know a lot about you. Its fun to learn about people and hear stories you never heard before and whatnot. He's a good dude and I hope he gets his big mission accomplished cuz Lord knows hes been working hard! The best thing about him is that he is planning on leaving the city. I cant wait for him to move to his next destination. I'm already setting up my vacation lol! All I have to pay for is my plane ticket cuz im gonna be right on his sofa! Bernard if you end up reading this, you should consider getting a guest room :-)

Im getting sleepy...

Nature's Secret: Super Cleanse

Its been a whole day on my detox. Yesterday for breakfast, I ate oranges and grapes. I went to the gym, did some cardio (30 minutes treadmill, 30 minutes on the elliptical) had a strawberry banana smoothie, and then I went shopping!

I bought lots of fruit (nectarines, plums, bananas, grape tomatoes) and veggies(spring mix lettuce, spaghetti squash, carrots, celery) for snacking and meals. I also got some hummus and I've been eating it with carrot sticks which is so0o0o0o good.

Once I get through some of these foods, I'm going to do some lentil soup and some other kind of beans. I also have some crab meat that I don't want to go bad, so I may be sneaking that into some of my meals. Okay now here is the good stuff... or at least I hope its the good stuff...

I bought the Super Cleanse for $15 at Whole foods. It is gigantic horse pill with a horrible after taste. I took one last night and one this morning. I dont feel any different yet. I'm going to take another one tonight. I'll post some progress on it in the days to come. The directions say to take one pill in the day and one in the evening and then increase by one pill every other day until you get desired results.

Detox...

I've been researching all these websites on detoxes and I have to admit. I am frightened! I see all these blogs that promote detoxes that are sure to help you lose 100 lbs in the 1st week and whatnot. Its absolutely absurd to think that by detoxing you are going to lose half your body weight. All I want, is something to flush out the stored up toxins and clean me out! For a cheap price.

Later on today, I am going to go to Whole Foods and get something in the $10 range. I'll do a review once I try it for a while. I've also been checking into the 4 day diet by Dr. Ian. He usually does a detox of fruits and veggies at the beginning of his diet. I might go get his book and see whats up with it. The concept is to basically do something for 4 days then change it up and do something new for another 4 days. And what I really like about him is that he says you need to take as much time as you did to put it on to take it off. So in my case, it took me a year to put all this weight on... so its not gonna be a quick fix.

I bought a Nintendo Wii!!!!!!!!!! I am so0o0o0o0o excited about that. I've been playing Mario Galaxy like everyday. Its the best game ever. It keeps me from thinking about my miserable existence lol. Eventually, I'm going to get a wii fit. I played that thing for like 10 minutes and I was about to pass out. But beause I bought this game, I now cannot afford to go out, buy alcohol, or fast food lol. So thats one problem solved! All of that to say here is my plan for detoxing:

1. Get a detox concoction from Whole Foods. Something like 2 weeks should be enough for me. I dont want to lose everything Ive ever eaten in one day. Whatever I get needs to be gentle because I dont want to be running to the bathroom every 5 minutes like some of these websites describe.

2. Stay off the meat for a while. I am going to try to stay away completely from beef, I've never eaten pork, and if I have to have meat, It'll be turkey or chicken. These have always been able to digest better in my system. So for the next two weeks, I will be eating lots of fruits and veggies. For me, the best way to do this is to get those frozen veggies that I can just steam in the microwave. I also get a bag of oranges, some bananas, mango, grapes, pears, and whatever else is in season at the time. On the veggie side, I like to get the green veggies like green beans, spinach, greens, but I do have a weakness for corn and green peas which are not as healthy as the other veggies. I have some salad and I dont really like to eat salad as much but I need the ruffage to help detox so I am going to grin and bear it. I just discovered mango rice which I plan to try at some point! You put mango with coconut rice and its like a Thai dessert. mmmmMMMMmmmmmm sounds yummy! But I wont be doing that until I've completed my detox, that will be my reward for a job well done!

3. Steam room!!! Okay, Okay, Okay... I like to steam more than I like to work out lol. And I'm sure that working out is better than steaming because its giving me cardio and causing me to sweat but since I'm talking about detoxing... steaming is an excellent source of detox for the skin. Since the heat is so high and its wet, it causes you to shed dead skin cells, and sweat out some of the toxins that our modern diet and beauty regimens deposit into our skin. Its good for my alleries too. I am going to start out steaming twice a week. That'll force me to go to the gym twice a week too lol.

So this is my plan to detox for 2009. I could just do like back in the day and take caster oil lol. But by doing it this way, I want to make sure that as I transition off the detox I can stay on a healthy eating plan. If I eat healthy 5 days out of the week, I should be able to maintain that but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it... right now, we are on the detox!

Dancing With the Devil...

Well, its more like having lunch and then the Devil walks in and sits at the table next to me and looks me in my face the entire time I eat my lunch... brb got a call

If Obama Can Stop Smoking, I Can Stop Overeating!

http://www.suntimes.com/news/politics/obama/817951,obama022808.article

In this article, Barack Obama discusses his decision to run for president. Michelle told him that if he quit smoking she would agree to support him running for president. Since he quit, I have to say, his lips are a lot less purplish and he is much more attractive! As if he could have been much more attractive? I wasn't really very attracted to him in the beginning but he does have swagger. One day, I'm gonna have a man! lol

Anyway, Obama set out to change history... and as a result his life has changed in so many ways. One of those ways, was for him to take better care of himself. I am inspired by him and his ability to focus on his health during one of the most stressful times of his life! I need to take better care of myself too... God is doing so many things in my life... I really need to be as healthy as I can be so that He can use me in any way the He needs to!

Exercise Regime

At the gym, I notice all the skinny people run on the treadmills and the bigger people tend to use the exercise bike or the other forms of cardio. Now, I'm not trying to be insensitive but I think I'm gonna try the treadmill until I get that down. Last year, I was able to run for about 20 minutes straight without falling out. I think that will be my short term goal until I can focus on timing myself.

Whats the best workout to lose weight though?

I really want...

Okay, so since I cant eat these things, I thought I'd blog about them lol.

These are my three vices!!! Arghhhhhh

If I had to rank them, they would be 1-Dr. Pepper, 2-Nuggets, 3-brownie sundae... with pecans!

There is a McDonalds right by my house!!! Its all bright and shiny and it knows my name too... everytime I drive home from the gym, I drive by it and it calls my name all sexy-like... I cannot give in anymore!!!

Lets get this party started!!

So, I don't really know what I am doing but this will be my pet project/experiment for the next couple of months.

I wanted to come up with some kind of way to keep me accountable so I figure why not try blogging about my progress...

You guys will get the good, the bad and the ugly on my weight loss progress, my love life issues, and all the other things inbetween! I hope you enjoy.

As of January 19, 2009 I weigh 210lbs.




















This is me and my friend Max... After seeing these pics, I see I need better fitting clothes! I have gotten to be waaaaaay too big! So, as such, here are my weight loss goals.

• By January 1, 2010, I will have lost 35 lbs.
• By August 4, 2009 (my Birthday) I will be able to run 2 miles in 20 minutes.
• Every week, I will blog about my weight loss.

I hope that by doing this blog, people will post comments to encourage me and keep me focused!! I am trying to learn discipline so I need help!!!

Stay tuned for my progress!!
-S